19: Midnight Meat Train

What to say about Midnight Meat Train? Well, it was

a.) enjoyable

b.) scary

c.) intersting

d.) Bradley Cooper

Now this is the first movie I have seen with Mr. Cooper and I was very pleasantly surprised. What's cookin', good lookin'? It was slightly comical when I don't think it was trying to be (especially with the obviously fake gore in some places) but I enjoyed it and it actually was quite scary.

35 Things I Learned from Midnight Meat Train

1. There's no need to warn your friend if you see a man approaching from behind holding a hammer.

2. You blink after you get your head cut off.

3. When a killer catches you stalking him, you don't always end up dead right after.

4. Detectives can't be trusted.

5. Cooks keep a gun in the kitchen.

6. Photographers are great fighters/masters of weaponry.

7. Hotel rooms can be broken into with merely a credit card--and on the first try.

8. Never go on the Green Line.

9. The Guardian Angels are still around.

10. A meat hook is the best tool to use when jumping onto a moving train.

11. Even when working for subterranean cannibals/monsters, you still have to make yourself look presentable.

12. People are dumb enough to ride a train at 2am.

13. You never would notice the train floor covered with a gigantic puddle of blood until you slip on it.

14. If you see people you find potentially dangerous by all means follow them.

15. There can never be too many close ups of Bradley Cooper’s face.

16. Every train is safe once the air conditioning works, there is no graffiti and you can understand the conductor.

17. Life is like a box of chocolates and then you brutally die.

18. Jurgis had NO luck at all!!!!

19. When you have a camera you become invisible and can sneak around anywhere in the most suspicious ways possible unnoticed.

20. Falls from speeding trains are not always fatal.

21. If you lose your tongue you will still be able to say welcome once more to your successor.

22. Giving Bradley Cooper Vinnie Jones' haircut does not automatically make him menacing.

23. It is possible to knock someone's head clean off with one swing of a meat tenderizer (but only if you're Vinnie Jones).

24. All the train schedules from every day of the 20th century can easily fit into a leather wallet.

25. Businessmen, models, and yuppies all ride the train at 2am, but apparently bums, crackheads, and prostitutes do not.

26. When a serial killer is attempting to kill you in a packed meat processing plant in mid-day, the best way to survive is to run past all the indifferent employees into a secluded backroom/ meat freezer.

27. Please step away from the meat.

28. The midnight meat train is really the 2 am meat train.

29. Brooke Shields is the one and only judge of modern photography.

30. As soon as you stop moving, you should always turn around. While you are staring straight ahead, he is always going to be behind you.

31. The premier time to bomb the subway would be past midnight, when very few people are there. Hence the security level yellow and the camera bomb check.

32. Always have someone keep watch.

33. If you are a serial killer, always keep some money in your killing bag in case you need to buy candy.

34. Butcher factories don't lock their doors.

35. People intending to break into a stranger’s apartment magically know what floor and room he lives in.